


I'm Batman

by Always_Dreaming



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF
Genre: Batman - Freeform, Dandrea, M/M, Superheroes, Superman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7347871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Always_Dreaming/pseuds/Always_Dreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The further adventures of Dandrea. In which they decide to be superheroes. Very silly in defiance of all the grim things happening in the world lately :/</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Batman

Dani and Andrea were sitting on the roof terrace of the Hilton hotel. They looked out across the city as dusk fell and all the different coloured lights of tower block windows, planes and neon signs glittered and winked from every direction. The other guests had left so they were the only couple still eating.

“This is the best meal I’ve ever had,” said Dani, twirling the spaghetti on his fork and scooping it into his mouth. “How’s yours?”

Andrea turned away from him abruptly as if he’d heard something.

“What’s the matter?”

He turned back. “Look at that guy. He’s sitting on the edge of the wall. If he fell…”

The figure was slumped, looking down towards the ground, as if he wanted to just lean into it and topple off. The two riders exchanged glances, then stood up and strode over to him.

He just lost balance as they reached him. Dani grabbed his arm as he slipped, then Andrea caught the shoulder of his jacket as he nearly slid out of Dani’s grip.

“Let me go, my life is over,” he moaned.

“Not happening, friend,” said Andrea, and both riders hoisted him up over the safety of the wall. He fell to the floor and just lay there pathetically.

“What’s so bad that you want to kill yourself?” Dani asked as Andrea phoned the ambulance.

“My wife’s left me for another man, she’s taken the kids and I’ll never see them again,” he sobbed.

Andrea thrust the phone at Dani. “You call the ambulance, I’ll handle this.” He turned to the man. “I’m Andrea and that is Dani. What is your name?”

“Jeffrey.”

“I had the same thing happen to me. My girlfriend left with my daughter and threatened to take her away.”

“It sucks, man.”

“Yes…but in the end she relented and I got my daughter back. And I found a better partner. I know that sounds like I’m making light of it…I’m not but the same could happen to you. I’m sure it will.”

“Do you think so?” Jeffrey’s face lightened a little.

“I do. You don’t need her. You’ll find someone better.”

Dani smiled at his boyfriend as he spoke to the emergency call handler.

“Your friend there, he looks familiar,” said Jeffrey, sitting up. “Is he a racing driver?”

“Yes, we are both MotoGP riders.”

“Wow! You bothered to save some loser like me?”

“You’re not a loser! Think positive. It worked for me.”

The paramedics hurried in at that moment, and took over the care of Jeffrey. They sat and talked to him for at least half an hour while a police officer questioned the riders about what actually happened.

“Thank you, thank you,” Jeffrey said to his saviours as he was escorted carefully away.

“How about we give you free tickets to our next race?” said Andrea and Dani nodded. Jeffrey beamed.

“You know what this means now?” said Dani.

“No? What?”

“We’re superheroes, saving people. We should do more of it.”

“Yes, we should!” Andrea put on a gruff Christian Bale-Batman voice. “But I’m Batman.”

“Good. Because I’ve always wanted to be Superman.” They embraced, happy with their evening’s work.

*** 

When they got home, which was Dani’s motorhome now, they set up Batman v Superman as the DVD to watch for the evening.

“Just so we can get tips on how to save people,” giggled Dani.

“And how about we get some…costumes?”

“Costumes? From where?”

Andrea tapped his nose. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“What’s the Batsuit made of anyway? Is it leather? Or rubber?”

“You’ll see…”

*** 

At the next race meet, Dani staggered into the kitchen the morning after the first night to get some water. He hadn’t got much sleep the night before, for good reasons, so he was only half awake. Two people were standing in front of the cupboard and he jumped in shock, and switched the light on. It wasn’t two people, it was two costumes hanging up. With a sigh of relief, he inspected the Superman costume. Bold and heroic looking, it would suit him very well. But the Batsuit! Black, sinister and made of rubber—it looked far hotter.

 _Maybe I should wear the Batsuit instead._ He stroked it, liking the slightly tacky feel of the rubber. _But wouldn’t Andrea look better in it?_ He stepped back, feeling suddenly light headed, and lifted the Superman costume off the hook. He’d see if he could surprise his sleeping boyfriend.

Dani tiptoed into the spare bedroom and struggled into the costume, which wasn’t easy as he obviously wasn’t used to wearing tights. He laughed to himself but when he looked in the mirror, he didn’t look too bad at all. He posed with his hands on his hips, with a cheesy smile like Superman, then put his hands above his head in the flying position, with a heroic expression. His hair didn’t look very realistic though, so he tried to flatten it with water from the small basin, which worked a little, but trying to get the front to go into a curl like Superman’s did proved impossible.

Finally satisfied with his look, he strode back into the lounge heroically. _This suit makes me look cool, maybe I’ll wear it more often._ He gasped—the Batsuit had vanished. Had it fallen down? He checked on the floor, then realised what had happened.

He sneaked back into their bedroom to find Andrea lying on the bed in full costume, the Batmask over his face and the cloak wrapped round him like a blanket. Dani leapt onto the bed and stood astride him, hands on hips, looking down. Andrea suddenly sat up, making him shriek and almost lose his balance, but a hand gripped his ankle, keeping him steady.

“That wasn’t very macho, Superman, you big girl,” said Batman.

“Sorry. Holy hotness, Batman!”

Batman’s face was level with Dani’s pants. “You seem to have brought a large package for me, Superman. Can I unwrap it?”

“No! You have to catch me first.” Dani leapt off the bed, his head nearly hitting the ceiling and ran off out of the room. _That’ll teach you to call me a big girl._

He found the smallest cupboard in the motorhome and squeezed into it, making sure his cloak didn’t stick out. Chuckling to himself, he thought how sometimes, his small stature was a huge advantage.

***

Batman/ Andrea tried to leap up to chase after Superman/Dani, but it was very hard to manoeuvre off the bed. The Batsuit was pretty inflexible considering it was rubber and he had to roll onto the floor and get up from there. 

_Now, where would Dani hide?_ He couldn’t tiptoe either, the Batboots were too solid and however hard he tried to keep quiet, they stamped. _But I look super hot though._ He stopped to admire himself in a mirror and posed, flapping his cloak in different positions.

He checked all the rooms, cupboards and behind doors. _He’s sneaky and can get into places I can’t._ He stood quietly, thinking, then a voice said, “it’s getting awful cramped in here.”

He strode towards the cupboard and flung the door open. “Superman! How the heck did you get in there?” Then pulled Dani out of it.

“Need my help, Batman? You look a bit tense. Maybe you need one of my Supermassages.”

“I’m suffocating, this suit is too hot.”

“Allow me to use my super strength to assist you, sir.” With a flourish, Dani ripped open the Velcro fastening at the back of the Batsuit.

“You’re so strong, Superman. My hero. Come to my Batcave.” He grabbed Dani’s hand and pulled him back to their bedroom.

***

For the next week, wherever there was trouble in the paddock, Andrea or Dani would turn up and sort it out. They didn’t wear their superhero suits—those were kept for private time—just their normal race suits or whatever clothes they were wearing. Numerous times when someone was, for example, about to trip over, one of them would appear to stop him falling. Or when someone was carrying heavy boxes, or trying to get through a door with an awkward shaped package, one of them would arrive to help out.

Their ‘helping’ became more and more extreme and sometimes they manufactured problems where there were none, such as putting objects in the way of people just so they could turn up and move them, or hiding items just so they could find them in the nick of time.

At first everyone smiled indulgently at the funny duo, but gradually they began to get annoyed at their competitiveness with each other. Their team bosses both took them aside more than once to tell them to stop being silly and concentrate on the races.

***

One night, Dani and Andrea were wearing their Superman and Batman costumes as usual, cuddling up on the sofa drinking beer and watching a DVD. They more or less lived together these days, Andrea only returning to his own motorhome if he needed a good sleep.

As usual they were so busy snogging and loving each other, they weren’t taking any notice of the film. A sudden bang on the door made them jump, then there were shouts of, “we know you’re in there, open the door!” followed by drunken laughing and singing.

“Who’s that?” Dani sat up. “We can’t let them in dressed like this.” _I thought I’d parked far enough away from the paddock to get some privacy!_

The banging and shouting went on and on. “Let us in, let us in!” insisted the unwelcome visitors, as they continued laughing and singing.

“Looks like we’ll have to. I’ll try and frighten them away.” Andrea put his Batmask on and opened the door to find a merry Marc and Jorge falling over the door frame and half into the hall.

“Hello, Dovi,” exclaimed Marc, far too loudly.

“No. I’m Batman.” Andrea growled in the Christian Bale voice, standing with his arms folded across his chest.

Marc burst out laughing and barged through the door past him, dragging Jorge in too. “Oh Dani, why are you dressed as Superman?”

“Oh! We were just—er—just watching Batman versus Superman again, and er—just getting into character.”

Jorge looked from one to the other. “Er, Marc. I think we should go, it’s getting late.”

“But we’ve only just got here!”

“Yes, but still.” Jorge bit his lip and frowned as Batman and Superman cuddled up on the sofa again, their cloaks mingling. He dragged Marc back out of the door, ignoring his struggles.

Andrea and Dani burst out laughing. “That’ll teach them to intrude, the nosey pair,” said Batman, wrapping his cloak around Superman.

Just as they’d decided to go to bed rather than carry on letting the DVD play unattended, they heard shrieks from outside and someone shouting, “no, no no!” then, “help, somebody! Help!”

The two superheroes looked at each other. “That sounds like Jorge!” said Dani, sitting up. “He must be in trouble!”

“Come on Superman, we’re needed!” said Andrea, and they ran out of their front door.

“Where are you, Jorge?” called Dani. The darkness was only pierced by the odd light from a few distant motorhome windows, because most people were either asleep or in the bar at this time of night.

“Over here, quick!”

The couple ran over to the sound of his voice, their cloaks flapping. Jorge was leaning over a wall with his arms stretched down over it.

“Marc fell. I can’t reach him,” he gasped.

Andrea leant over the crumbling brickwork to see Marc perched on a narrow ledge over a long drop down a small cliff which was above the service road to the circuit. The motorhome park was protected from intruders by the height of the hill but Dani obviously hadn’t realised how close he’d parked to the edge. The tipsy Marc must have tripped and fallen over the wall. Andrea tried to reach down to him too but couldn’t as he wasn’t any taller than Jorge.

“Help!” shrieked the young Spaniard.

Dani peered over too. “We could use our cloaks? Tie them together to make a rope for him to grab?”

“Good thinking, Bat—er—Superman.” Andrea patted his arm, then they both removed their cloaks, made the rope, and dangled it down towards the shivering figure. Marc grabbed the end and his three friends slowly pulled him up the cliff towards them. He wriggled around impatiently. “Keep still or you’ll get cut by the rock,” instructed the cloak-less Batman. 

At last he fell over the top of the wall and the minute he was safe, Dani wrapped him in the two cloaks to keep him warm.

“I nearly died!” he said dramatically, as he lay on the floor clutching at Dani’s hand.

“There, there.” Dani crouched down next to him and patted his arm.

“For fuck’s sake Marc!” snapped Jorge, stepping back and shaking his hands out. “Be more careful. You nearly pulled my arms out of their sockets. You’re lucky these two were here to help.”

“My heroes,” said Marc, drunkenly gazing up at Dani and Andrea, who was unable to crouch down next to him due to the Batsuit flexibility restrictions, so he just peered down at him with concern. 

“Sorry we interrupted your evening,” said Jorge, straightening his shirt. “We’ll get out of your way now.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m Batman.” Andrea growled, posing with his arms folded across his chest. “I’m here to serve the public.”

Dani stood with his hands on his hips. “And I’m Superman, ready to protect humanity.”

“You see,” said Marc. “You two are needed to save the world after all. What would have happened if the world had lost me? Everyone would have been devastated.”

The others tutted and grumbled at his egotism, but he looked so cute lying there wrapped in the Batcloak and the Supercloak that they burst out laughing—as characters always do at the end of superhero shows.

**Author's Note:**

> Story inspired by a headshot Dani posted on Facebook of himself as Superman. And my fantasies about Dovi wearing the Batsuit… *faints*


End file.
